Pause for breath...
What's wrong with the definite article? Those three little letters. You know the ones, you use them every day, hundreds of time, without thinking.
So what is it about having children that makes them disappear? And from the one word that everyone's using?
Let's listen to baby.
See, there's baby
Shall we change baby?
How's baby's weight?
No. No. No. The baby. Your baby. My baby. Not baby.
But I stay calm and I don't scream. Because when you're pregnant or have just had a baby everyone thinks you're hormonal and there's nothing worse than being mistaken for an oestrogen-fuelled lunatic when actually you're a grammar-loving pedant.