tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3432382804917497650.post6043661339015376108..comments2023-12-30T15:23:47.095+00:00Comments on Is there a Plan B?: I just smacked my daughter.Harriethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975259590293860488noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3432382804917497650.post-23593478670519039582019-05-02T09:34:06.399+01:002019-05-02T09:34:06.399+01:00I'm a my mother of 3 . A 6 year old a 2 year o...I'm a my mother of 3 . A 6 year old a 2 year old and a 1 year old. My 2 year d will be 3 the 28th of this month. My 1 and 2 year old don't sleep like maybe 5 hours at a time. Well my 2 year old is always so mean and crabby. Earlier today she gave my 1 year old a busyed lip and gave her scratches on her face that bled. Well tonight I caught her punching her in the face. Like for real puntches. Made her lip bleed and she scream cried. Me being angry I went to give her a wooping on her but. Well I kissed. She's still in diapers too so I hit a little hard because I wanted her to feel it a little since she wears daipers she usually laughs at me if I spank her. Well when I missed I got right above her but on her back.so now my hand print is there I'm crying really bad and she's telling me it's okay it doesn't hurt. I'm like so upset with myself. I feel like a bad mom even though I know it was accidental. If I wouldn't of missed she would of only got mad and sat down. She cried so I checked and noticed I missed. All I can think about is my husband not not understanding and it all going wrong. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3432382804917497650.post-46628303669109120702016-05-04T21:31:05.412+01:002016-05-04T21:31:05.412+01:00A 2 year old does not understand what swear words ...A 2 year old does not understand what swear words mean, it's not his fault and should not be punished! Speak to your neighbour and ask him/her politely to be aware that young children are around who imitate adult behaviour. Smacking children teaches them to smack as adults! It's a form of bullying, grown up smacking infants! I was smacked as a child in the 70's, and I thought it was normal to smack a child, it isn't! NOTABLOGGERhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07272387999940146222noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3432382804917497650.post-60088906084622827062016-02-16T04:22:31.986+00:002016-02-16T04:22:31.986+00:00If one of my sons were cussing at me and hitting o...If one of my sons were cussing at me and hitting on me id bend his butt over n give him a whoopin to remember. Hes gotta learn respect and if a spankin works then there ya go. If he wants you to respect him he better respect you. My son called me the b word when he was 2 bc he heard a neighbors kid call his mom that and he isalmost 8 now and hasnt dared call me a bad name since. He is a great boy and he is always telling me how much he loves me. Theres a line between abuse and discipline. As long as u dont cross that line and abuse ur child!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3432382804917497650.post-5429760555450770752014-07-29T04:13:43.213+01:002014-07-29T04:13:43.213+01:00I smacked my daughter about 4 times while growing ...I smacked my daughter about 4 times while growing up and she wants nothing to do with me. How do I apologize and tell her i was at faultAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3432382804917497650.post-40126015271364111722013-01-09T19:11:59.716+00:002013-01-09T19:11:59.716+00:00But thank you for posting.
Now go and have a glas...But thank you for posting.<br /><br />Now go and have a glass of wine, a big piece of chocolate and think of all the times you and he have been the best of friends. Harriethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11975259590293860488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3432382804917497650.post-20009893565133616682013-01-09T19:10:36.076+00:002013-01-09T19:10:36.076+00:00No pity or consolation, I promise. But I am thinki...No pity or consolation, I promise. But I am thinking of you and I am sure that in years to come you will look back on it as a much more traumatic experience than he does.<br /><br />Harriethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11975259590293860488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3432382804917497650.post-29100195849276565892013-01-09T18:47:22.070+00:002013-01-09T18:47:22.070+00:00Tears are streaming down my face as I read your po...Tears are streaming down my face as I read your post... Not because I judge you, but because I have just done the same thing. My 8 year old son was punching and kicking me and swearing like a trooper.. I feel soo ashamed of myself. I too vowed that I would never slap my children in the face and here I am, furious at myself for doing it and terrified, because st the time it seemed like I had no choice... Of course I had a choice. I know that intellectually, but I lost it. Where do I go from here? I adore my children... I'm not asking for pity or consolation ... I just need to write this down because somehow I hope that writing this will ensure that I never do it again...<br /><br />Thank you for having the courage to post that... malissataylor-sakshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17298349654346301775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3432382804917497650.post-83649581562750441762009-11-16T18:37:15.923+00:002009-11-16T18:37:15.923+00:00My two girls have pushed me close to the limit, bu...My two girls have pushed me close to the limit, but I have restrained myself..just. I was with a child at the weekend that behaved appallingly and I had some very unpleasant thoughts in my head. No one wants to hit their children, but sometimes it happens. Don't rip yourself apart, you were just shocked, it happens. Both you and your daughter will be fine.<br />Award at mineHow I Like My Coffeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01820095194342504687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3432382804917497650.post-64097487554153593582009-11-16T13:49:14.716+00:002009-11-16T13:49:14.716+00:00I smacked one of my daughters twice when she was a...I smacked one of my daughters twice when she was a toddler. Once when she ran into the road and once when she stuck her fingers in a socket. Like you I didn't want to do it, like you I haven't made a habit of it. I hope that posting about it and getting the responses you have has been worthwhile...great to see such honesty. What wasn't so great was that my daughter wrote in her book at school, when asked 'what makes you sad?' said: "When my Mummy smacks me..." Oh how we laughed. Hmmn.Lindahttp://www.gotyourhandsfull.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3432382804917497650.post-45753450885849909772009-11-15T21:08:55.648+00:002009-11-15T21:08:55.648+00:00It's done, it's over and you've probab...It's done, it's over and you've probably both learned something from it. Well done for posting. <br /><br />I came by to thank you for your lovely comments after my terrible evening the night before my boys' birthday. The day itself was surprisingly easy - I think I'd got it all out the night before! Anyway, having all that support out there in cyberspace was incredibly empowering, so I am truly grateful to you xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3432382804917497650.post-51802430115157505212009-11-14T20:44:57.245+00:002009-11-14T20:44:57.245+00:00I don't smack but boy I know what you mean cau...I don't smack but boy I know what you mean cause I've been there right on the verge.<br />I agree with Liz in that a child who has been hit just wants to appease and that it teaches them nothing. <br />Sounds like you've shocked yourself into a resolution though xTara@Sticky Fingershttp://www.stickyfingers1.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3432382804917497650.post-13927542486199639922009-11-14T16:02:17.321+00:002009-11-14T16:02:17.321+00:00Well it's obviously not a habit you're pla...Well it's obviously not a habit you're planning to take up so yes, don't worry about it too much. One of mine bit me in exactly the same place although through excitement. It was so sudden and so bloody painful that I almost dashed him/her (can't remember) to the floor - deliberately. Thank god I didn't.Expat mumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17798190669591053390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3432382804917497650.post-31276206717125821052009-11-14T11:17:06.803+00:002009-11-14T11:17:06.803+00:00I smacked my children. rarely, probably between th...I smacked my children. rarely, probably between the ages 3-4; at the point when they knew for sure they'd lived on the earth long enough not to need anyone else to be manager, thank you very much.<br /><br />on the plus side, i did not smack as a routine response, like *eatdinnerSMACK* more because i needed to make a total STOPTHEWORLDTURNING moment. <br /><br />a smack was the result of a situation where extreme/ unacceptable behaviour was damaging (or dangerous) for us all: a smack marked a context where i felt totally overwhelmed, had enough, and exhausted. (and probably feeling exactly like the mini person helping wreak havoc in front of me, or trying at that moment, like yours, to bite both my arms off.)<br /><br />afterwards i did not rush to cuddle and only a part of me felt guilty about using a smack as a stop point.<br /><br />i used that moment to take advantage of the stop and shock, and then i would talk over exactly how i have written above; how we had both got to the point that we were no longer listening or talking to each other, how the situation now was unacceptable to me too, how smacking and being smacked made us both feel horrible, how the moments leading up to that smack made us both feel in terms of personal control; the lot. That was probably abuse by psychoanalysis. <br /><br />in terms of my language it did not matter that the child might be aged 3 with sharp gnashers. the point is i expected them to grow up talking about feelings. (you might say that strategy has failed since the siblings now routinely set about each other over sofa rights.)<br /><br />but it's an ongoing thing, isn't it? i found every way i could - and still do - to talk about feelings inside people and how those feelings can come outside us; how we can find words to talk about feelings; how we can find ways of expressing our feelings but not denying them; how the feelings we all have are important, and because they are important they need dealing with properly, and beating each other up is not the proper way.<br /><br />i think it is hard to explore these ideas in this climate because there are so many easy judgements to be made; as parents we are encouraged to walk around and fear the judgements others will make of us, rather than share issues honestly and frankly to people we can assume will listen and not judge. (all hail to parent blogs)<br /> <br />every relationship between a parent and a child is quite unique; it's hopefully a long term experience and one that will change and evolve many times. the fact that a relationship can change over years i believe is a mark of an enduring relationship; it can weather difficult problems, and the horrible times will in turn help develop and deepen the relationship and make it stronger. <br /><br />relationships that are defined by single moments aren't going anywhere, because they cannot change; i don't believe extraordinary moments like a smack in a complex child-parent relationship will define the years to come. i'm sure it won't lead directly to unwanted teenage pregnancy, drug abuse, and living on the streets. if it does, i'm wrong, ok?<br /><br />and sorry for writing an essay in your comments box.Grithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14022216340604423686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3432382804917497650.post-88198383852756580742009-11-14T08:37:28.033+00:002009-11-14T08:37:28.033+00:00It's a hrad thing to admit, a hard thing to ho...It's a hrad thing to admit, a hard thing to hold up to the light and really examine. And I'm sure you are going to get a lot of comments giving you food for thought on the merits of hitting or not hitting a child. I will say only this. you did not beat your child. You didn't hold them down and attack them. you gave her a hard smack, out of shock and anger and this once will have done no harm in the long term to your child or your relationship. So think about it yes, examine, deide on a course of action for the future all that stuff, but try not to give yourself too hard a time over it - it is something that most of us have done at one time or another. you are not alone.Not From Laplandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17165208811776097332noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3432382804917497650.post-73581594924948279192009-11-14T07:58:01.036+00:002009-11-14T07:58:01.036+00:00I don't think smacking works. Amongst my many ...I don't think smacking works. Amongst my many parenting fails (of which there are many), smacking is one of the few things that I haven't actually done. But I really understand how when you are surprised by a really hard bite (which really really hurts, those who've not been bitten don't necessarily understand the pain and surprise of it when it happens) that the natural instinct is to hit back. Hopefully you will be right, in 20 years time you'll look back and say that was the only time. In the meantime, thanks for posting about it. xDorset Dispatcheshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10457466586411004146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3432382804917497650.post-26793317369390144662009-11-13T22:41:38.395+00:002009-11-13T22:41:38.395+00:00I agree this is a brave post. I don't smack my...I agree this is a brave post. I don't smack my children but I have a couple of friends who do. And so many of us were smacked as children (my parents did it with us) that it sometimes seems odd how anti-smacking most people are these days. My nearly 4 year old drives me absolutely insane sometimes and I do have an urge to smack him when he does this. When that happens I take a deep breath and walk away. Funily enough he can't stand it when I walk away and stop giving him attention, that's almost a punishment in itself!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13917443753880382461noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3432382804917497650.post-81479956323291778232009-11-13T21:39:56.601+00:002009-11-13T21:39:56.601+00:00This is a brave and honest post. But the problem i...This is a brave and honest post. But the problem is that children (and adults) who have been hit will always want to appease the person who hit them, and tell them they love them. This is why it 'worked'. I know it's really difficult but if she bites you again (or does anything else) then maybe try counting to 10 after you've shouted and see if you still have the urge to smack. Not judging, just suggesting xLiz (LivingwithKids)http://www.kidstart.co.uk/livingwithkidsnoreply@blogger.com