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Let me start with a confession. I only do things I'm good at and I only attempt things I think I might be good at. Seriously. Among the things I won't do are: play tennis, play Lord of the Rings Trivial Pursuit, karaoke (except under extreme duress), speak in public, wear fancy dress, mountain climb (or abseil) or attempt to speak (not even one word) any foreign language other than French or Russian (and I've got a degree in those two).
There is only one reason for this. I'm rubbish (or I think I would be rubbish) at all of them. And somehow, somewhere, I've got into my head that life is a competition, and if I know I'm not in with a chance of winning, I just won't try.
So what about blogging? Given just how technologically useless I am, I should have decided in advance that I'd be rubbish at blogging and never got started in the first place. But I did, and I am, and I've realised that blogging (at least the mummy version of it) really isn't a competition. People have all sorts of stories and all sorts of ways of expressing them and the only universal trait is the support out there. It's not about who's better or worse or even different from whom. It's about saying what you need to say for the reasons you need to say it.
But I still want to know how I'm doing. Perhaps especially because I'm still hoping that somewhere along the line the blog will help me find my plan b. I get very excited by awards, comments, new followers and the British Mummy Blogger of the Week. (This week's is awesome by the way). And now I've been reading Sally at Who's the Mummy's posts about the Tots 100 list. I realise I'm a way off that yet, but (is this an admission you'll all hate me for making?) I'm aiming for it. I haven't put myself forward yet - as I said, I don't do things I might fail at - but I've done what Sally says, and put myself on Technorati. I don't really know what it does, and I'm not sure I've done the right thing (I've "claimed" my blog but that might not be right at all). Anyway they want me to put this code 82R87DV3BSVW into a blog post so they can check that I am who I say I am...
I realise that in the wonderfully supportive blogosphere in which I find myself, perhaps admitting to competitive thoughts is akin to admitting in an NCT class that you're having an elective cs and don't want to breastfeed, but it is, I'm afraid, just who I am. Forgive me?
How to Make Star-Shaped Birdfeeders with Kids
20 hours ago
There is nothing wrong with a healthy dose of competition. But its knowing when to draw the line that is the secret!! Good luck in your quest - I came in at number 85 last month and actually wooped!!
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean.......I can't even go there with the lists ( not that I think my blog falls into a parenting blog really anyway) I'd just hate to fail and I'd feel under too much pressure.
ReplyDeleteI don't like doing things I think I'm not good at either. Funny isn't it.
ReplyDeleteI'm competitive, can't help it. Find that the key is not letting the competitive nature get in the way of enjoying blogging, so sometimes I have to turn the statcounter off. Plus, I can waste a lot of time I don't have being a bit obsessive.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the Tots 100. But do carry on writing posts that you want to write and not things that you think will get you into the list. Your blog is fab, I really enjoy it, it will get you the readers and the links and all that stuff as long as you keep writing about the stuff that you want - that's why we read you! x
The idea of telling an NCT class you're having an elective cs and don't want to breastfeed is damn scary - it makes anything in the blog world seem like a breeze in comparison.
ReplyDeleteYour last paragraph made me chortle. I will never forget mentioning to my doctor that I had an NCT meet up that afternoon, and her looking at my bottle-fed, c-section born, dummy sucking Moo and asking me if they still let me in ;-)
ReplyDeleteWell done you its always nice to have something fun to aim for! And as for technorati I can't work out how to register a blog or do anything so you are well ahead of me in that stake (I am so un pcliterate that it isn't funny)!
ReplyDelete...well I had one emergency c section and thus a second elective c section and only sort of breastfed my children (for two months at that...). I too hate failing and am very competitive, so i get your drift. However, and I am really sorry to say this, that while I enjoy reading your blog and think you write well, your quest for "success" and "money" via this blog - by your own admission - are a complete turnoff.
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous (and shame I don't know who you are, because I haven't taken offence so you don't need to hide). Thank you for your honesty, and for your compliments about my writing (which somehow mean more because I've clearly disappointed you in other ways). I'm sorry I've turned you off and I'm sorry I've given you the impression that either success or money are the only reason I'm blogging. I admit that I would never have started to blog had I not been told (by an American friend) that it might be my key to a "plan b", by which I mean an intellectual and personal outlet, that, yes, because we need it, does bring in some financial contribution, but I also had hoped I had made it clear (which I obviously haven't to you, and I don't know how many other readers), that in the six or so weeks I've been blogging, I've learned a) that there isn't any money in it and b) that the personal, and yes, intellectual fulfillment I do indeed get from it, are far more important than the money I don't (and won't) achieve. As for the "success" of knowing that I have a readership (however small) that thinks (like you) I write well, I think that, for me, is part of the personal fulfillment bit, and I'm afraid I won't apologise for that.
ReplyDeleteAh, but the blogosphere loves honesty. Especially honesty where others are too coy to be honest.
ReplyDeleteI think it's fine the way you are going about things. And you're definitely not alone in wanting to 'do well' with your blog in the league table.