Tuesday, 5 June 2012

When worlds collide

Did you have a brilliant long weekend?

We did.  We got sun, too! Lots of it.  Lots of fun as well, with lots of lovely friends staying - six adults and eight children in total.  It's what we wanted this house to be when we bought it, and it lived up to every expectation.

But now it's over.  Which means I'm looking at the next big social event in my calendar.

Which is, or is supposed to be BritMumsLive (spaces or no spaces, incidentally?). 

Only that's my virtual life. And in my real one that Friday is, I was told last week, L's last official day at nursery, with prize giving and presentation.  And I'm her mummy, and that will only happen once.

And it's not just that.  We've been invited to a lunch on the Sunday (with train times I can't be back here until mid-afternoon) and a big party on the Saturday. They'll be fun, undoubtedly, but it's more than that. We're still, slightly, two years in, finding our feet socially - sizing people up as potential friends, edging our way into circles and cliques, making our mark - and so turning down chances to meet more people and perhaps make new friends seems a mistake.

But that's my real life, and my real world.  What about the virtual one?  What about the fact that the agenda looks really interesting, and, more, that this is my chance to make other real friends, out of the virtual ones I already have?

What about the fact that I've bought a ticket, and am booked on a train?

What would you do?

26 comments:

  1. Personally I find the real world more important so I'd enjoy the social events around you instead. My experience of the conferences is that they're too big to meet many people properly. But as a lapsed blogger, it's probably obvious I'd say that. Maybe think about which you'd be most gutted about if you missed it?

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    1. Everything has, sort of, shifted slightly since Suzanna's comment below...

      But I do know what you mean. And it was interesting that bloggers were saying "Real Life..." I'd expected them to say "Blog!" so the fact that they didn't....

      But now trying to work out if I can do both. Mostly for the ego boost of reading, of course.

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  2. Sad face (as in me doing one, not saying you've got one).

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    1. Quite.

      Am wondering though about shifting those train tickets and just trying to catch up with all you pesky Southerners another time. Just without the keynote speeches...

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  3. Being there for last day of nursery against losing the cost of tickets. No contest. BritMums will be there next year.

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  4. Hi Harriet, not sure if you got my email, one of your posts has been chosen to be read at BritMums Live! Please be in touch and let us know if you're happy to do this.

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    1. And then Suzanna sends this...

      No email, by the way. Will send one to you.

      Delete
  5. Also, just read your dilemma... do what is right for you! Can you just come down for Saturday?

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    1. Hmm. Possibly..... Thinking....

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  6. It's a tricky one - I'm not going due to conflicts with RL and as Kelloggs Ville says, BML will be there next year (as, I hope, will I!)

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    1. Indeed... No you. No Pants. No Iota. No others I have momentarily forgotten...

      Is the world saying "Go next year" - when of course it will be S and A's last day at nursery?!

      ps RL?

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    2. Sorry - Real Life... (which has, it seems, been reduced to initials. Although they are at least capitals.)

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  7. I feel your pain. An event I'd love to go to clashes with my daughter's end of year drama performance.

    Real life won, though.

    That last day of nursery will only happen once. There will be other cybergatherings.

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    1. I know... still haven't made up my mind though!

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  8. Crikey lady you have got a busy life! Best way to be though, whatever you choose just make sure you choose the fun things! x

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    1. But what about when everything sounds like fun?! (poor me, eh?!)

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  9. Toss a coin, pretending to yourself it's the decider. See how you feel about the outcome. Are you happy? Are you disappointed? That might tell you how you really feel. Then you can over-ride the coin if necessary.

    Drop any guilt. L won't remember whether you were there or not. (People have said there will be other Cyber events, but there will be lots of other end-of-year events too, and with 4 children, you'll inevitably miss some here and there for clashes.) BritMums will survive without you. Do what is right for YOU, once you've found your way towards it.

    I don't think the real life vs cyber life dichotomy is quite fair. BritMums IS real life. Friends made on the internet ARE real friends. Yes, you have opportunities this w/e to pursue or cement local friendships, but BritMums is an opportunity to do the same with cyber friendships.

    I think whatever you do will turn out fine, so try not to agonise (says someone who never agonises, oh no, never, not I).

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    1. I think the "real" friends thing is interesting, because on the one hand, it sort of feels as though, as you say, this is my chance to cement my cyber-friendships (sounds unpleasant, doesn't it?!) and make all those lovely people into "real" friends, but on the other hand, it sort of feels, as you also say, that they are already real friends - as those bloggers that I have already met in person are (to whom no insult was intended!!)- and that being the case, I'd like to think that meeting or not meeting makes less of a difference.

      Except that it feels like it does.

      Tricky. And contradictory. All at the same time.

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  10. By the way, I don't think your worlds are colliding. I think the problem is the opposite. They're pulling you apart in two directions. What's the word for that? Diverging?

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    1. But "when worlds diverge" doesn't have nearly the same cliched ring... And I love a cliche, me.

      I see what you mean, though.

      Maybe it should have been "when diary events collide".

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  11. Hi all, BritMums will be there next year (same bat time, same bat channel).

    Harriet, still trying to get in touch via email about the bloggers' keynote, but don't think it's getting through. Try me at amodernmother (at) gmail (dot) com.

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    1. Email sent yesterday. Hope you got it.

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  12. Well. You are all (or most of you are) there. And I am here.

    But it was the right call. L's pride-filled grin as she was handed her certificate was absolutely worth staying for. And I say that as someone who isn't even going to the drinks she also stayed for...M is vomiting so we are in our glad rags and not going anywhere...

    But isn't that what parenting's all about?!

    Look forward to hearing all about what I missed though!

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I know. I'm sorry. I hate these word recognition, are you a robot, guff things too, but having just got rid of a large number of ungrammatical and poorly spelt adverts for all sorts of things I don't want, and especially don't want on my blog, I'm hoping that this will mean that only lovely people, of the actually a person variety, will comment.

So please do. Comments are great...