Thursday 20 June 2013

Could this be the world's most patronising email?

A little while ago I read a post over at Muddling Along Mummy (whose lovely news is still making me smile).

Anyway, her post (about the contradictory, non-specific and generally unhelpful advice given to pregnant women) reminded me of a book I was given when pregnant with L.  Called something like How safe is my baby? (or possibly How safe is your baby?) it simply set out the actual statistics for the various risks and let you make your own mind up. 

I'll allow you a little gasp of astonishment at such a horrifyingly trusting idea.

I found it rather helpful, as books go, and when I'd finished with it, I posted it to a friend, who never received it.

Some years later, Hannah's post reminded me about it and I thought I'd get another copy to send to a pregnant friend.  Only I can't find it.  Nothing on Amazon, nothing on google, nothing on the second hand and out of print books sites I frequent.

After a bit of detective work, I identified two likely publishers and sent them both polite emails wondering if it ever had been on their lists, and apologising for the fact that I wasn't absolutely 100% certain of the title.

I got the following (names changed to protect the innocent) in reply:



     Dear Ms...

      I'm sorry to report that the title is not ours, so I can't help you.
     
      The best way to find it, is to get onto the Internet and go to
      www.amazon.co.uk. Once on the site find and Click on BOOKS.

      Once inside Books, type Your title into the Search Box and you
      should have a good chance of finding the title you can't actually
      remember.

      Good Luck

      Barry...
 

 

16 comments:

  1. A disappointingly incomplete response there from Barry. He missed the bit where you have to plug in your computer and turn it on.
    Are you planning a response? This could be fun....
    "Dear Barry,
    Thank you for your email. It must have taken you a little while to research and I am very grateful for your sharing the results with me. I shall be sure to follow your advice just as soon as I have worked out how to use a computer.
    Yours sincerely,"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Barry,

      What is a site? I don't want to go camping, as I cannot be sure that it will not rain and I don't want to put my children at risk of exposure.

      Do you do home visits? Perhaps you could come and show me what to do?

      Yours sincerely

      What do we think?

      Delete
    2. I fear that Barry might get a bit excited at the thought of a home visit. I don't imagine he gets out much.

      Delete
    3. Not if we combine home visit with cats protection, as suggested by Blackberry Crumble...

      Delete
  2. But surely it's far to dangerous to sit near a computer? You were pregnant only 2 years ago. Surely there's evidence that exposing yourself to dangers can be backdated, and damage your now-born children?

    And as for being patronised, well, you ARE a mummy now... brain turned to mush... only interested in what brand of nappy to buy... what do you expect?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Backdated dangers? There's an idea to give a parent sleepless nights. Just think of all those roads we've crossed safely... what if they come back to squash us?

      Delete
  3. Is it this one?

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Safe-Your-Baby/dp/1905410069/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1371798907&sr=8-3&keywords=how+safe+is+your+baby

    I just followed Barry's instructions. Man's a legend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whoops.

      Do you think that's what he did?!

      In my defence it honestly wasn't there three weeks ago....

      Delete
  4. Oh, go on. Ask him how to access the Internet...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's quite tempting, isn't it? I could put on a whole persona too. The opposite of a super secret identity...

      Delete
    2. Send him a real letter. Written in crayon.

      Delete
  5. Dear Barry,

    Thank you for your kind letter, it really touched me that you took the time to respond. I miss getting post since the nice lady at the cat protection league stopped writing....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cat protection? We can get worse than that surely?

      Delete
    2. Sexual health clinic... AA... Cat protection. It's essentially a spectrum.

      Delete
  6. Forget Barry, he can only talk the talk. Mrs T is a legend she walks the walk.


    Ahhhhh Lolz. Don't you just hate it when that happens. No one will ever believe you that it wasn't there before,you know that don't you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mrs T is a legend for many reasons.

      And it really wasn't!

      Delete

I know. I'm sorry. I hate these word recognition, are you a robot, guff things too, but having just got rid of a large number of ungrammatical and poorly spelt adverts for all sorts of things I don't want, and especially don't want on my blog, I'm hoping that this will mean that only lovely people, of the actually a person variety, will comment.

So please do. Comments are great...