Monday, 8 November 2010

One bump or two?

Would it make you think I didn't love my twins if I said I really, really, didn't want another pair?

It's odd because I always wanted twins.  In fact, when my sister-in-law announced, about four weeks after we told people we were expecting L, that they were having twins, I was jealous.  I hoped L would be twins.  But then she was L, and to be honest, the thought of two Ls is enough to send anyone to spend a couple of hours in a darkened room...

But then I watched the same sister-in-law, who is a fantastic mother, coping with a toddler and new-born twins.  And I thought "I really, really don't want that".

No prizes for guessing what happened.

It never occurred to me I was having twins.  Actually that's a lie.  It briefly crossed my mind when one of my friends (and admittedly this is a very good friend) spotted that I was pregnant when I was only about eight weeks. I knew I was bigger than I had been with L, but I hadn't realised I was that big.  But then you expect to be bigger second time round, don't you? And the thing is, I felt absolutely fine.  My poor sister-in-law had to invent a dramatic vomiting bug to throw everyone off the scent (for the record, it didn't), and so I thought that's what happened if you had twins.

So B and I went along for the scan, merrily expecting just the one.  The sonographer did her jelly bit, and there was a little bean, curved round like a backwards C shape, swimming in its darkened, liquid world.  Four limbs, head, spine. Lovely heartbeat. Hooray.

She wiggled the thingy (technical term) a bit.  And there it was again, from the other direction this time, a forwards C shape, still swimming, heart still beating.

B said: "That's another one".

Now, B is not a medical professional. He has no training, or indeed experience, in reading sonographs. In fact when we went for our twenty week scan with L, he said "Look, there are its eyes" and had to be gently informed that the beautiful black eyes were in fact kidneys.  Which was good, because you want two of them too, but still wrong.

So is it any wonder that when the sonographer said: "Are there twins in your family?" I thought she was just making polite conversation and launched into a full explanation of how my dad is a twin, and B's brother has twins, and oh yes, we met some other twins on the bus on the way here blah blah blah...


Two and a half years later, I wouldn't change that moment, or my magical babies, for the world.  Yes it's been hard work, but when expectant mothers of twins ask  me about it, I'm honestly not putting a spin on things when I say that the benefits immeasurably outweigh the extra difficulties.

But the thought of more twins.... well that terrifies me.

So I was pretty nervous when we presented ourselves for the scan last week.  I'm not as big as I was, that's definitely true, but I have been feeling infinitely more ill and tired than I did with either of the other two pregnancies.  Please, please, no.....


Just the one.  Breathe.  Heartbeat.  Breathe again.  My baby.

And here (I realise it's not the greatest of pictures) he/she is:

I'm looking forward to meeting you.


  1. I'm very excited for you. Hope the pregnancy is going well and you're getting the chance to put your feet up and get into your books now and again!

  2. Congrats on being pregnant again. I always loved going for the scans and seeing the baby (not babies!!) for the first time:) Jen

  3. Yay! Well done, and I hope you are feeling well. xx

  4. Ooh how exciting.

    I was at school with identical twin girls and in the year above were their identical twin brothers. It wasn't until I had children myself I marvelled at the fact their mum was still sane, imagine two sets of twins less than 2 years apart... I think there are rather large odds against it ;)

  5. Awwww!! Congratulations!!!
    My brother-in-law has teenage twin girls, in his words you survive twins. Just.
    Sounds manic, but 2 lots? Wow.
    Hope the sickness passes soon x

  6. I am so glad that all is OK. I always wanted twins after losing our first pregnancy at 20 weeks (which was twins), but it has not been. I am happy with what I have adn you would have coped with what ever you were given!

  7. Phew...! I thought for a moment it was another set.

  8. Hey lady, congrats!
    And my-just-the-one - double congrats!

  9. Trish - one of (in fact the only) good thing about having been so utterly wiped out for the last twelve weeks is that I've been going to bed at about 7 o'clock... which means I have a pile of books by my bed which are waiting for my brilliantly insightful thoughts... ahem... watch this space! (including The Slap, which I didn't like much at the time, and am loathing in hindsight).

    Jen - it is magic isn't it? Got my 20 week scan date this morning and am already excited about that.

    Fiona - Thank you! And actually beginning to feel almost human again now (like clockwork - am 12 weeks tomorrow....)

    Nikkii - oh my life! I can't imagine that! (and statistically it's incredibly unlikely too). She'd have found out much later in her pregnancy too, poor thing, so the shock must have been pretty great!

    Podgypixiejo - nah: it's better than that! (probably more exhausting too, but oh, so much better!)

    Mad Mummy - I'm so sorry. You've mentioned that before, and I can't imagine how awful that must have been. What I should have said in the post, and didn't was that as soon as I realised there were two, my next, desperate hope, was that they were both ok. And the joy, and relief, however much I might not have wanted them two minutes earlier, were indescribable.

    Missy M - I wouldn't have been nearly as upbeat....

    Notes - Thank you! How's motherhood treating you?!

  10. Ooh lovely.

    Are you going to find out what the sex is at the next scan, or do you like a surprise?

  11. Gorgeous girl this is so terribly exciting. I do love it when we can follow our blogger friends journeys as they grow human beings. Fabulous that you are growing just the one this time too. I totally get it and I don't have twins. I was there when bestest friend found out her number 3 was twins and little did I know I was pregnant with number 3 myself. The fear when I sat on the same couch for my own scan a few weeks later was totally out of proportion. I can only imagine you felt that x100's.

    MD xx

  12. Iota - It's feeling lovely now actually! As for the pink or blue thing: probably. We didn't with L and did with the other two (if only because we were getting scanned every two weeks, and even I could spot the lack of a willy after a while).

    MD - Thank you! It is fun reading about other people's babies isn't it? I'm stalking Pants with Names at the moment, so I'm glad I'm providing entertainment in my turn!

  13. Congratulations! I hope the sickness starts to pass soon


I know. I'm sorry. I hate these word recognition, are you a robot, guff things too, but having just got rid of a large number of ungrammatical and poorly spelt adverts for all sorts of things I don't want, and especially don't want on my blog, I'm hoping that this will mean that only lovely people, of the actually a person variety, will comment.

So please do. Comments are great...