Posts
I have this friend. In our former lives she was a colleague, but then she married a lovely man who works for the Foreign Office and who now has a job as under-secretary in charge of washing machines (or something) in Pakistan, so that's where she and her two little boys live too.
Now my friend (and apologies if this begins to get a bit gushy and mutual-admiration-ish, but I do I have a point - skip to the end if you want to know what it is) is pretty awesome. Obviously, she's my friend, and I have great taste.
That aside, though, she's clever, funny, one of the kindest people I know, great fun to be with, gentle and pretty with it (doesn't matter, I know, but I don't want you thinking that she's only got a great personality). She's also got the great common sense to write a blog.
And recently she's written a couple of posts which say nice things about me.
What? Me? Little old self-deprecating me?
Well, yes. Me. Turns out she thinks I'm awesome too.
Now you might say that that's what being friends is about. If you don't think your friends are great, then why bother being friends with them? So yes, to a certain extent that should, and does, go without saying.
But then I'm not sure it should: go without saying, that is. Because knowing that this person I admire admires me too is a huge boost to my self-confidence. I know, of course, that I should value myself without the need for external approval or approbation, but I don't always. I know, too, that the fact that B and my children (mostly) think I do ok, should be enough, but it isn't always either.
So I wonder if there are women I admire, (and men too, but I find myself increasingly fighting a very small feminist cause as I grow older, so I'm concentrating on the women here), who don't realise how wonderful they are, what a great job they do - whatever job that is - and how critical a linchpin they are to their little corner of the world. And I wonder what a difference it would make to them if I told them. If I said, in passing, next time we're chatting: "You're amazing. I hope you know that".
I wonder. And I wonder who you admire. And if that person knows that. And if they don't, whether they ought to.
I bet they admire you too.
Thursday, 30 May 2013
16 comments:
I know. I'm sorry. I hate these word recognition, are you a robot, guff things too, but having just got rid of a large number of ungrammatical and poorly spelt adverts for all sorts of things I don't want, and especially don't want on my blog, I'm hoping that this will mean that only lovely people, of the actually a person variety, will comment.
So please do. Comments are great...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
A friend that I think is the most brilliant person ever told me today I was a generous person and our village didn't deserve me. I think it was an exageration but I am almost sure she wasn't being sarcastic! Isn't it great when people give compliments. It makes me feel good to give them but a million dollars to receive them. BTW I think you give awesome blog :)
ReplyDeleteWhy thank you!
DeleteBut back on the point good on your friend. And I bet it was deserved (and the village doesn't!).
Move to America. Everyone tells you you're awesome all the time. Even if you just phone up to query a bill or something.
ReplyDeleteI agree, joking aside. We don't compliment each other enough. But now I can't, because if I say "you're awesome", you'll think it's just because you've written this post.
Good point, because then, of course, you don't believe them.
DeleteOf course I only wrote the post to get lots of compliments so I am very disappointed.
Actually you (and you're awesome too, just in case you didn't know) gave me my first ever unsolicited blogging related compliment and I'm still basking in the glow...
This really hit home to me. I used to think my mum thought I was a pants mother as she never said a good word about it and one day we had crosswords over something and I snapped at her that she must think I was a crap mother, to which she told me I was the best mother she had ever encountered. This made me cry. I never realised she felt this way. I wish I had known sooner.
ReplyDeleteThat's it exactly. We don't say it and sometimes we need to hear it.
DeleteI'm just very glad your mum did tell you, so at least you knew, and know.
Don't know what to say, but I had to find a tissue after reading that. You ARE awesome, and I'm so pleased that I've been able to tell you just how fantastic you are.
ReplyDeleteHopefully it will help the next time that you find someone's thrown up in your shoe/thought you'd left the house in one piece only to find half an organic rice cake welded onto your trouser leg/discover your favourite pashmina has been tied to the skipping rope to make a lasso...or does that just happen to me?!
xxxxx
Not the lasso yet, but I suspect it's only a matter of time...
ReplyDeleteShould also give a little shout out too to two (loving writing all those 2s) other friends who have reinspired me into blogging recently. I think it's interesting how much we take from our friends - often, I suspect, without them realising it.
Absolutely, I have awesome friends, and one in particular (who is in fact a mutual friend of ours - that makes me sound like a scary stalker, I'm not) reminded me the other day that what friends want is to be able to support you and they will happily do it as long as you talk to them... Talk to your friends girls, you chose them for a reason...
ReplyDeleteooh. You've got me intrigued now. You're right though. I have another post brewing about a friend I've lost and one of the things that's worrying me is that she might be going through something and I'm not there for her...
DeleteEssex girl, previously double barrelled, same name as one of your girls... I think the trouble with being a grown up is that in our busyness we only notice the people who jump up an down and miss the quiet ones, it's always the quiet ones.
ReplyDeleteWhen I saw the crochet, I twigged.... plus she'd put something on my facebook page.
DeleteAnd she's not *that* quiet. She is awesome though.
She is... I shall tell her tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteHooray! She also partly inspired this post (was one of the two I mentioned in a comment above) so double awesomeness for the woman known (in our house only) as "Big" L...
DeleteI wonder if being able to give and receive compliments is something that has to be taught. My parents were terrible at receiving compliments and thanks and pretty sparse with praise. I've always felt like I'm under achieving, never more so than now. I am trying to make sure that my children are gracious recipients of praise but worry that I am unwittingly setting the same example as I received....
ReplyDeleteI think compliments, too, are not part of British culture...
Delete"What a lovely dress!"
"This old thing. I made it out of an old dog blanket and a snotty tissue..."
etc etc. We do self-deprecation much more than we do elegeant appreciation of our own talents. I'm working on the latter.
I'm being a bit flippant, but I know what you mean. I want to give my children the confidence to go out and be the brilliant people I know they are, and not to cower ashamed of the weaknesses they will also have.