Sunday, 29 November 2009

If I really loved my babies....

....surely I wouldn't seriously be considering not buying them any birthday presents.  Would I?

This time 377 days ago, I had twelve days until I became a mum of three.  Now I have twelve days to organise a first birthday party for two babies.

I've also got ten days to organise a birthday present for my mum, thirteen days to organise a Christening, fourteen days to organise a birthday present for my brother, nineteen days to organise Christmas (that's when we fly to Canada and if it's not done by then....) and a house that is stuffed to the gunwales with toys.

So I'm thinking - Do S & A really need presents? Or at least do they need presents from us? They're getting not one, but two, parties and will doubtless get spoiled rotten at those.  They're only (nearly) one and have no idea what presents, or indeed birthdays, are, so they're not going to care, and anyway, anything that I would want to buy them, someone probably bought L for her first birthday nineteen short months ago.

So why do I feel like a bad mother for even considering it? And what am I going to say when they ask me, in years to come, what I bought them for their birthdays?
Posted by at
Labels: ,

13 comments:

  1. Jen Walshaw29 November 2009 at 18:37

    You should not feel guilty for not buying a present, in fact all we sis was a baloon in a box for both boys 1st birthdays - they loved it. They get far too much anyway

    ReplyDelete
  2. Expat mum29 November 2009 at 18:38

    I think you're being very sensible. They won't know. Buy them one tiny thing - or rewrap a birthday present!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unknown29 November 2009 at 19:26

    Don't feel bad about it, they get so many things from other people and they're too little to notice yet. Maybe you could put some money to one side for them so you could get them something they want when they're older or maybe next spring / summer because their birthday is so close to Christmas? Have fun with all that organising!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Potty Mummy29 November 2009 at 20:11

    First of all, totally not a bad mother, and they won't ask you what you gave them for presents when they were one (and if they do, fib! Who's going to know?). The one thing I would do is maybe just get one present each - a very small one, like a bath toy or similar - for their older sister to give them, just to mark the occassion. Although she probably won't notice, either, if you don't...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Chic Mama29 November 2009 at 21:15

    As a mother of five I would say you are being very very sensible and..... they will never ask you what you got them for their birthdays.
    What's mad is all you have to do in the next few weeks....poor you. Good luck with it all.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Harriet30 November 2009 at 19:29

    Potty Mummy - very very very good point. Have been shopping for animal bath mitts online this afternoon. Thank you for that, I agree it's important and I think, amid everything else (And on that front, Chic Mama, thanks for the support - with all that you're going through, can't believe you think I've got a lot on my plate - haven't commented as yet, but have been thinking of you) we might have forgotten.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Vic30 November 2009 at 20:38

    Sounds like they need money putting away for when they really need something, or a token gesture like a new set of clothes (which you'll end up buying in the long run anyway).

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous1 December 2009 at 09:38

    For my daughters first birthday I asked all party guests (aka family and friends) not to give her a gift, but to rather donate money to an orphange I support in South Africa. While my daughter still got (some) gifts, we raised a lot of money that went to art and craft materials for otherwise very deprived children. Seeing photos of these children painting and having fun with materials they would never otherwise had access to, made me glow. ..... and my one year old daughter had NO idea she had "missed out" on anything. She has SO much anyway, and our kitchen could not handle more brightly coloured plastic. I will have NO problem telling her in the future what she/we all got and gave on her first birthday.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Harriet1 December 2009 at 10:31

    Dear Anonymous, assuming you're the same anonymous who's also commented on my post about competitiveness, it's funny, but your comment here makes me feel much worse than the other one. I really should have thought of this great idea, and thank you for putting it into my head. Your daughter should be very proud of you.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous1 December 2009 at 19:18

    Hi Plan B. It is "Anonymous" here. Firstly I am so sorry you that either of my comments made you feel bad - neither were intended that way. In the 5 minutes I had free I posted the comments, and it seems that I got the tone wrong. Apologies. Kids are asleep now so I can "think" and express myself more carefully (positively?!). You actually "know" me from the park (blushingly told me about your blog which I have followed ever since!). (I have daughter J and son O if that helps identify me!!!). Comment 1 (re birthday presents) was meant as a suggestion. I too faced your dilemma when my daughter turned 1 and found this to be a very positive way around the "conundrum". My second comment (re competiveness) came from a position of "let the writing talk for itself!. You do write well and I relate to/enjoy your postings. Let that speak for itself. "Insecure over acheiever" comes to mind - I identify as I am one myself (forgive me the label - and apologies again if you feel it does not suit you - but that's my take on it and it is supposed to be a compliment!). Please continue, and yes, keep striving. I will continue to read, and would love a coffee soon to discuss in depth if you are free! (But it sounds like that will be in the New Year with what you have to get though before then!). I have NO idea how blogging works (you are my first foray into the blogging world!)and hubby is trying to sort me out with a "name" and you can no doubtably put a face to it too now. So I am not hiding!!! Yours "no longer anonymous"! (but Anonymous for now in techno speak as we cannot figure out how to create a name/URL - bear with us!!!! x

    ReplyDelete
  11. Chic Mama1 December 2009 at 21:23

    I am having great fun reading all your comments, a blog in a blog. Am intrigued to read the next installments. ;0)

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm a mommy...get me out of here!1 December 2009 at 23:14

    tee hee - thanks Plan B (and Chic Mama). Anonymous is no longer Anonymous. Thanks to four glasses of wine, a technological genious of a hubby, and the inspriation of you all, I am now here with a "name"!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Harriet3 December 2009 at 20:31

    Dear Chic Mama - I feel as though I have to apologise that unlike episodes of neighbours (does that date me?) you don't get a new instalment every day... Blame my employers (the ones who pay me, as against the ones who wipe snot on me).

    Anyway, here now with a big sorry for crossed wires and hello to I'm a Mommy! Love the name, delighted you're here and would love a coffee in the New Year (CM welcome too...!)

    ps I think "insecure overachiever" sums it up rather nicely. I'm not sure many people *would* view it as a compliment, but i'm choosing to.

    ReplyDelete

I know. I'm sorry. I hate these word recognition, are you a robot, guff things too, but having just got rid of a large number of ungrammatical and poorly spelt adverts for all sorts of things I don't want, and especially don't want on my blog, I'm hoping that this will mean that only lovely people, of the actually a person variety, will comment.

So please do. Comments are great...

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)