Tuesday, 27 October 2009

Poo - viewers of a sensitive nature may find some scenes distressing

I'm not sure what the dictionary definition of "potty-trained" is, but assuming it's along the lines of "has control of bowel and bladder movements and can relieve oneself when and where one wants",  L is potty trained.

It's just not working out quite how I'd like.

We did it in June - we were staying in a house with a downstairs loo and no carpets so it seemed wise.  She was great.  We cracked the wees pretty much straightaway with the help of some haute couture Iggle Piggle pants, and the poos seemed fine too.  She's still in a nappy for her nap and at night so the fact that we occasionally had a poo in a nappy didn't seem to be a problem.

Only now it's the end of October, and we don't seem to have got any further.  It's not that she can't control it,  she's in 100% control (which I think maybe the driving force behind it), it's just that she does her poos where and when she'd like (in her nappy, five minutes after I've put her to bed) and not where and when I'd like (on the loo, at a time of her choosing).  Oh and yesterday she tried to clean herself up too....

I've resorted to the parenting books (not normally my preferred reading unless I want to feel more guilty than I already do), and they say helpful things like "it is important to find out the reason your child is doing this".  How do you do that with a 2 year old?  L is pretty articulate, but I don't think she knows why she's doing it, much less has the vocabulary, or self-awareness to put it into words.

We've had lots of conversations about it, so she knows that she's a big girl, and big girls use the loo and she knows that babies use a nappy, and she's not a baby, and that her friends use the loo; and she agrees and smiles and goes on her own merry way.  We even resorted to bribery:

Me: "L, what could I give you that would make you do a poo on the loo"
L: (thinks hard, for the most outlandish and exotic thing she can imagine) "a lollipop"
Me: (very relieved, having been slightly concerned at having to explain acquisition of a puppy to non-dog-loving husband) "well, as it so happens I have a lollipop downstairs, if you do a poo on the loo, you can have a lollipop"
L: "I don't want a lollipop".


I know, because I've learned this over the last 2 1/2 years, that this too will pass, and when she's 15 she won't still be in nappies, but I just can't see how. Presumably at some point she will just decide that she's ready, but oh, don't I wish she'd do so soon!


  1. Do you know what I read there? She has got mummy EXACTLY where she wants her and she's doing a behind-the-hands chuckle every time she poos in her nappy and you raise your eyes to the ceiling.
    I'm just relieved it's not just me with a devious little miss!

  2. Oh don't I know it! I'm just waiting until she's 15, fully potty trained, and wants £50 to go shopping...

  3. Potty training is sooo frustrating. I used bribery all the way, chocolate buttons were my choice, and it worked. I think the books say you're not meant to but I stopped reading those a long time ago. Good luck!

  4. We have the same issues with poo, my son is 3 and 3 months but will only do a poo in his nappy just before bedtime. He also likes to clean himself up!!!!

  5. I would love to say I have the answer but I don't - she'll do it when she's ready, is my experience... Although I must say that with my oldest a trip to Mothercare to pick out a potty of HIS choosing - rather than the 2 I had bought earlier which apparantly weren't up to scratch - made all the difference.

  6. BTW - have just put you up as Blogger of the week on BMB...

  7. Check out 'Flower Fairies and Fairy Cakes' blog. She had exactly the same potty training issue (ie child perfectly capable, but just wouldn't). She cracked it inadvertently by saying "let's give up and try again in a few weeks time", put her daughter back into nappies, and that morning was the morning her daughter decided she DID after all want to be a big girl. She's had one accident since.

    I think it is fun for them to be in control - as you say - and see how easy Mummy is to aggravate. They're so clever that they know Mummy is aggravated, even when Mummy is doing the best non-aggravated scene of her acting life. They just know.

    I have potty trained 3 kids (laboriously and slowly) and I have no words of wisdom beyond what you already know. It WILL pass.

    Came over on Potty Mummy's recommendation...


I know. I'm sorry. I hate these word recognition, are you a robot, guff things too, but having just got rid of a large number of ungrammatical and poorly spelt adverts for all sorts of things I don't want, and especially don't want on my blog, I'm hoping that this will mean that only lovely people, of the actually a person variety, will comment.

So please do. Comments are great...