Friday, 17 December 2010

Dear So and So - 3rd week in December

Dear boss,

Nothing is actually going to happen if I don't get absolutely everything done by Christmas. You know this, I know this, the clients know this.

When is one of us actually going to come out and say it?

Yours, hassled.

Consultant and all-round dogsbody.


Dear L

"Torch-er" is not actually the verb we use for "having a torch".

And if that's what you actually want to do to me, whinging is so much more efficient.



Dear B

I've had a word with Father Christmas and he reckons that you'll be happy with a packet of fruit gums and a satsuma.  I told him that'll be fine.  That's ok isn't it?

Loving wife


Dear Postman

There are things I need at the moment:  Christmas presents (everyone's), Birthday presents (mine). And things I don't need:  twin breast-feeding cushions, printer paper.

Please can you concentrate on delivering the former and leave the latter to languish in a sorting office?  Just for the next week?

Yours, with cushion.

Non-breastfeeding mother


Dear B (2)

Oh, and it's not just FC who's been rubbish about thinking of presents for you this year.

Loving (but inefficient and unimaginative) wife


Dear Girls,

I realise you're now two. But could we not go for "terrific" instead?



Dear B (3)

Thank you for making me go out tonight.  You were right and I was wrong. The world feels so much better after three hours away from my children. Oh, and a half of lager.

Yours much more cheerily

Loving (and slightly tiddly) wife


Dear weather

Just a little warmer? Please?

Yours freezingly

Pathetic Southerner.


Dear Readers,

Head over to Kat's for more postcards.

love and Happy Christmas,

me x


  1. I'd be happy with a satsuma and wine gums :)

  2. You must be bloody freezing! I do feel for you.

    Our sons used to be so confused between torch and the American word of flashlight that they would call them flashtorches!

    Hope all your parcels arrive safely.

    Keep warm!


  3. I'd be happy with fruit gums & satsumas, as long as they were sellotaped to an iPad of course ;-)

    Been meaning to email you for an age, so sorry. Am most crappy blog friend ever. You are in my thoughts though & I hope the weather isn't too awful for you & the little ones.

    Thanks for your comment on my rant, feeling terribly moany at the moment so always lovely to hear from blog pals.

    MD xx

  4. My world is always brighter after a couple hours away from the children. Funny how that works!

  5. Tiddlyompompoom and MD - well he got the satsuma and the wine gums... but he did also get a book he wanted, and a chocolate orange and a pair of totally unecessary cashmere socks (living in Scotland and realising he didn't actually have a stocking necessitated (ahem) that one.... Santa did us proud!

    Lorna - they did! Even the ones from Canada!. Good old postie really.

    ps like "Flashtorches" too!

    Kat - mine too - although just about to post about how nervous I feel about a couple (well a bit more than that) of days away from them...


I know. I'm sorry. I hate these word recognition, are you a robot, guff things too, but having just got rid of a large number of ungrammatical and poorly spelt adverts for all sorts of things I don't want, and especially don't want on my blog, I'm hoping that this will mean that only lovely people, of the actually a person variety, will comment.

So please do. Comments are great...