Friday, 3 December 2010

Wondering if my daughter is deaf.

L, darling, please don't do that.

L, did you hear me? Please don't do that.

L, I said, please don't do that.

Do not do that.  I've told you three times already.

How many times do I have to tell you not to do that?
If you keep doing that, you will not get any stories tonight.

Do you want stories tonight? Right. No stories.


I knew my mother of power stage was too good to last.  And although it's true that the shouting does work we both hate it.

So I'm wondering (I can't call it hoping, because of course I don't*) but is it a bad thing to be thinking it'd be an easier explanation if maybe she really can't hear me?


  1. We went through this - have you tried things like an egg timer (if you haven't tidied the toys by the beeps then they go in the bin), only three goes at anything?

  2. I know this sounds Dickensian, but I used to count to three. My teens still do as they're told (albeit with eyes rolling and heavy sighing) when I start counting.
    When you get to three (with no halves and three quarters in the middle) just simply take hold of her and put down the toys/walk her to where you want her to be etc., with no fuss. She will get the message that whatever you want done will be done, either under her own steam or by you.
    Works with all three of my kids.

  3. We count to 5, he is 8 and it still works!! Going to have to start with my 21 month old daugher who just gives me 'the look' and ignores me!! Jen

  4. I said to the doctor "I'm hear becuase I'm sick to death of yelling at her and I want to know if she has a hearing problem", turned out she was 60% down in one ear and 40% down in the other. She wasn't ignoring me she was deaf! Tonsils and adanoids out (grommits not required) hearing was back to normal within a month....then I started counting to 3 and yelling again.

  5. It's probably best to get it chesked out. It could be selective hearing though. Little Miss A is very good at not hearing me when she doesn't want to.

  6. Expat mum is spot on. Though saying that, I took my son to have his hearing tested when he was about 5 and the examiner did all the buzzing and beeping necessary to test his ears and the result, " He has perfect hearing, he just chooses NOT to hear you". Big difference.
    Good luck.

  7. I was told it was perfectly normal for pre-schoolers to chune everything out apart form what they are concentrating on. Either that's true or someone was trying to make themselves better. Either way, it is sooo frustrating.


  8. chune? my spelling is up the spout, obviously

  9. Better get it checked, eh?

  10. I'm like expat mum - but we do a LOT of counting here. Teachers have actually asked me to get a hearing test for Luke - health visitor rolled her eyes when I asked - 'we get a lot of children referred for hearing tests' she said 'don't worry, most of them just aren't listening'.

  11. My son always failed the hearing tests with the Health Visitor and I knew it was because he wasn't paying attention. We were then referred to the hospital and had to undergo even more tests and check ups every six months. It was frustrating but reassuring that there wasn't actually anything wrong. He just listened (make that listens!) when he wants to.

  12. Expat Mum - you are a genius! I've been counting, but counting with no end: "I'm going to count to three, one, two, three". Oh, now what...? For some reason (and I normally think of myself as quite bright) I hadn't actually made the leap into doing the stuff myself. It's really working. It really is. Thank you...

    Muddling Along - haven't heard of either of those and they're both great ideas, thanks! Going with the counting at the moment, but if (when) that stops working, we'll be getting the egg timer out!

    Jen - I'm sticking with 3. Gives me less time to get cross!

    Kelloggsville - oh golly! help! I was joking. Anyway, I think she does hear, because she normally responds ("why"?) but was there anything in particular that made you actually do something about it?

    Mum's survival guide - have you had hers checked? If not, how do you know it's selective? I'm pretty confident L's is selective, but all the comments have got me really wondering....

    Mother Hen - thank you! I think we'll need it. I actually don't hear 100% in my right ear (about 80%, a bit like having a finger in it all the time, with added tinnitus), having had an infection (oddly enough when I was pregnant with L) so I've always been quite cautious about their hearing so I don't think there really is anything wrong.

    M2M - that's a much more flattering reason than "she just doesn't want to do what she's told" which is what I'd been assuming it was. Maybe she just can't help it.... oh, and I thought your spelling was very hip and down with the kidz!

    Mwa - I could, but then see Lorna's cautionary tale below. As I say, I think she does hear me and it's more that she just doesn't want to do (or not do) what i'm asking her...but then again...

    Pants - so did they do it, or not?

    Calif Lorna - I'm afraid I think we're in the same boat... Glad at least that I'm not alone!


I know. I'm sorry. I hate these word recognition, are you a robot, guff things too, but having just got rid of a large number of ungrammatical and poorly spelt adverts for all sorts of things I don't want, and especially don't want on my blog, I'm hoping that this will mean that only lovely people, of the actually a person variety, will comment.

So please do. Comments are great...